bless my mess

I have stated before how much I hate cleaning! I came across a funny saying the other day that sort of sums me up:

"My husband says the only thing domestic about me is that I was born in this country." -Phyllis Diller

I read it to my husband and he totally agreed. Clearly, he married me for my good looks and athleticism!

I believe that a messy house is a sign that people live and love there. I believe that piles of laundry represent kids being home from college. I believe that messes have purpose and sometimes, you can equate a parties success to how messy your house is the next morning! I believe that summer days are meant to be spent at the lake or hiking a mountain, not spent at home, cleaning. I am certainly not going to be on my deathbed, wishing I'd spent more time cleaning.

"Dear Lord,

Please Bless My Mess. I know that the New Year is upon us and that represents a clean slate. I love the idea of starting fresh as much as the next person...of getting rid of all the clutter of the holidays and starting anew. But, don't let me lose sight of the meaning behind my mess. A messy life is a fun life --- a life well lived, a life where people feel comfortable coming into your house and just being themselves. Keep your shoes on if you want. For goodness sakes, we have a dog! There is not a lot you can do to our carpet at this point! I'd rather have my son home from college and a never-ending pile of laundry than to not have him home at all. Think about it. When my kids are grown and out of the house for good, my house may finally be clean. But, it will also be quiet, void of chaos, perhaps a little lonely. Please allow me to enjoy the chaos and the mess during this time of my life -  and Please Lord, Bless My Mess! " Amen.

P.S. If you want to throw in a housekeeper for a New Year's gift after the kids head back to school, I wouldn't be mad at that!

My husband came home with some laundry detergent today and said, "I bought some laundry detergent...so, you can now do the laundry!" I laughed and said, "I wondered why there were no large piles of clean clothes to fold the past few days." Silly me, I thought it was just a Christmas miracle. Ahem. Back to the grind. Gotta go. Apparently, I have some laundry to catch up on!

the real me





I think I finally figured out why I LOVE running so much!! I was running with my girlfriend early this morning, sweating and dripping, running around and around the track. We usually run 30-40 minutes and just talk about everything under the sun! Religion, Football, Personal Stuff we have going on, Work, Family, Family problems, You name it! Nothing is off limits. And, let me tell you, that half hour or 40 minutes goes by lightening FAST! Some mornings, when my alarm blasts and rudely wakes me out of an awesome dream (!) I would love to pull the covers over my sleepy eyes and go back to sleep...but, then I remember that I have a date with my running buddy who I need to catch up with and I bound out of bed before my mind has a chance to catch up with my feet!! And, I am off....and running! Literally.

Well, this morning, I had one of those light bulb moments as to why running is so important and vital to my sanity! As we were running, she mentioned that her and a friend were getting together for happy hour. She asked if I'd like to join them. I said "No, I can't....blah blah blah...." Trying to think of an excuse why I couldn't sneak away for an hour or so for an adult beverage and adult-only conversation.

Don't get me wrong, I love gettin' together with friends as much as the next person...but, the thought of coming home from a long day at work, having to put on a cute "going out" outfit,  leaving my warm house and family on a cold evening, making small talk about who went where and who just bought the latest what, just did not sound appealing.

And, then it hit me! Running is the ultimate "ME time", it's the time where I feel most like myself. It is the most "stripped down, honest, open and vulnerable" I will ever be. When I run with my friend, like I said, any topic is fair game. Maybe it's because we run side by side and not face to face...that I feel I can be my most complete and authentic self. Maybe it's because it is so damn early that neither one of us will remember what was said. Or maybe it's because I don't have any make-up on and my hair is a mess, so I feel real, raw, genuine, more like the "real me" than I feel at any other time of the day. Or maybe it is a combination of all of the above.

Whatever it is, this love affair I have with running is simply amazing and I hope it never ends. But, if I look at it honestly, I believe it will reveal that it really isn't the running that gets me going, it is the honest and frank conversation that goes along with the running. It is the way I feel when I am done: exhausted, wiped out, fatigued and spent physically, while at the same time, feeling filled up, pumped up, exhilirated and mentally ready to face whatever the day brings! Who'd have thunk it? Girls Night Out just became Girls Morning In!!



Me and my amazing running partner!!

thank-full

I love this time of year. The holidays season is just beginning. Families sit around the dinner table together. Kids come home from college. Snow starts to fall. Oh, and I can't forget those Starbucks red cups (see previous blog).

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am so full of thanks. I know that I have much to be grateful for this year and I feel extremely blessed. Everything from family to my health to my ability to run...I give thanks everyday, but especially tomorrow. My son is coming home from college tonight and my heart is about to burst with joy as I anticipate his arrival! I love nothing more than knowing that our family will be together under one roof, safe and sound, even if just for a few days.

But, let's face it, holidays, as wonderful as they are, can be hectic and stressful! So, I like to remind myself of a few things as the holiday season begins. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring (and I'm not talking about how the turkey will turn out!). So, Hug your family. Tell those you love that you do. Live in the moment. Practice Gratitude. Make time for friends. Take a nap. Don't get too busy or stressed that you forget to stop and enjoy the little moments. Life is precious. Life is a gift. Unwrap it slowly everyday!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

"At all times and for everything, give thanks to God." Ephesians 5:20

it's all about the cups...

No, this is not a blog on cup sizes or how you can get the most out of your new Victoria Secret push-up bra! It is about my obsession with cups. Coffee cups to be exact.

I love this time of year!! Starbucks brings out their adorable, festive, reindeer & snowmen-laden, little red cups!

Ahhhh...'Tis the Season!

 

I love going through the drive-thru at Starbucks on my way to work but, I especially love it this time of year. I swear, those mochas and chais taste better in the red cup!

The other day, I bought a traveler of peppermint mocha to take to school and share with my co-workers. It just happened to be the first real snow of the season so, it made it all the more special! What I was most excited about was the little red cups that you get when you buy a traveler!! The traveler is the equivalent of (12) 8oz. cups - of ANY of your favorite starbucks drink! So, that is TWELVE adorable little 8 oz. red cups with lids! I was so happy.

Then, the other day when I was at Starbucks, I came across this nifty little cup:

 

Sure, it looks like a regular "to go" Starbucks cup...but, upon closer inspection, you will see that it is not! It costs one dollar. You can use it up to 40 times and it's dishwasher safe! Another bonus, besides just being more eco-conscious and green is that whenever you use it, you get 10 cents off your drink. Pretty cool, ha?

I totally fell in love with it. And decided I was going to start saving the world, one mocha at a time.

The next morning, I grabbed my reusable cup and headed off to work, via the Starbucks drive-through. I soon realized that it was going be a hassle to have them fill it up because they would have to wait 'til I got up to the window to fill it up and I would be holding up the line. So, I decided to forgo my ten cents and just order my drink in a regular cup. When I got to the window, I was sooooo excited when I remembered that the little red cups were back!! But, now I had a dilemma. Do I use my recyclable cup and save ten cents while at the same time, saving the earth? Or do I go for the cute non-recyclable holiday cup? I felt bad for my new white eco cup...but, I decided that I would use it but, only when I actually walk into the store AND once the holiday is over! I mean, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

98%

Maintaining a friendship is not brain surgery, folks. It really is not that hard to maintain a good friendship, even across the miles or over the years. But, what you need to know is that 98% (maybe even more) of a friendship is showing up. Atleast in my book.

I have only a few events in my life that are important to me. The first one is my birthday! I am crazy for birthdays. I love to celebrate the fact that I made it another year. And I don't have any problems telling complete strangers on the street or at Starbucks that IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!! I know, I'm a little over-the-top when it comes to my birthday. But, hey, having another birthday is way better than NOT having another birthday, right? Turning a year older is something to boast about and shout from the rooftops!! "Hey, look at me, I am 47 today! Don't I look good for an old broad?!" hee hee. You get the idea.

(I have had some FANTASTICALLY FUN birthdays. Topping the list was my 42nd birthday... where I invited 42 of my closest friends to see a live performance of "The Full Monty" at our local theater here in town. OMG! What a hoot! It was so much fun but, a bit of a buzz kill, when we went out to the lobby at intermission and were told we could not be served anymore alcohol and that we had to "take it down a notch" because other audience members were complaining that we were too loud!! Are you kidding me? I mean, this was the Full Monty for heaven's sakes! What did they expect? For us to sit quietly in our seats, with our hands folded and just nod our heads in enthusiasm?? Well, clearly, this group of gals could not and would not do that. We went back in for the second half and hooted and hollered all we liked. I mean, if they wanted to kick us out, they would have to drag 42 of us out, kicking and screaming.)

The second event that is important to me is the Annual MS Walk. My close friends know that this day is special to me and they do their best to make it out - regardless of the weather - to support me and all the others who live with this disease. Sometimes, the group is large. Other times, the group is small. But, there are a few friends I can count on to ALWAYS be there.

Recently, I had another exciting event in my life. I was chosen to speak before a local audience about my MS. It is a wonderful, international event called "Ignite". The premise is that each person gets 20 power point slides, 15 second per slide, 5 minutes total to tell a story. My topic was "Am I A Mess? Turning life's little bumps into stepping stones." I was super excited! But, also nervous. I have spoken a few other times but, never to an audience of this size or on a stage of this magnitude! I had one person I knew had to be there. My best friend from college. She lives in Seattle and I knew it would be difficult for her to take off mid-week, drive 5 hours one way just to hear me speak for 5 minutes!! I would have totally understood if she couldn't make it. She is one of the busiest people I know.

Guess what? She made it! I cannot tell you how much that meant to me. Not only did she make it. She got to my house early to make sure I had everything I needed. She drove with me to the event to make sure I got settled in. She gave me the best pep talk ever and said things like "You are gonna rock this, Margie" and "Most people are scared to death to get up on stage and speak in front of an audience but, you are a Rock Star, and you've GOT this!" She sat in the front row so, I could have a friendly face to fixate on. She had a cocktail ready for me when I was done. She celebrated with me at the after party until the wee hours of the night and then paid for a cab to get us home safely.

Heck, I was just happy that she showed up. All the other things she did were BONUS, baby.

My point is this, 98% of friendship is just showing up. It's that easy. People want to know that what they do matters. They want to know that they are not fighting life's battles all on their own. They want to know that when it comes down to it, true friends will drop everything and come running to their side. They want to know that the day they were born is a day that other people enjoy celebrating too. I have had plenty of so-called friends in my life that just didn't get that. And, now that I am in my late forties, I have realized that I don't have the time or the need for friends like that. Love me or leave me. But, don't meet me halfway. You are either IN or you're OUT. I don't have time for false friendships and I don't want to hear excuses why you can't be there for me.

I don't ask a lot of my friends, but what I do ask is this:

"Be there for me for the things that are important to me. You know what those things are. If you can't be there for my birthday, then atleast acknowledge it by sending a card or a text, to let me know you are thinking of me. No phone calls, because my true friends know I hate talking on the phone! And please no facebook message, because birthday messages on facebook are for people who didn't really know it was your birthday, but happened to be on facebook and see it that is was so, felt obliged to send a message! Be genuine. Be real. Do your best to show up for the events that are important to me. I promise I will do the same for you."

Easy, right?

The Color Run

Oh boy! Yesterday, I took part in one of the coolest new races sweeping the nation! The Color Run. It is the self-professed "Happiest 5k on the Planet!" And, it definitely lives up to its name! The Color Run happens all over the nation, in all different cities. It is a crazy, colorful and chaotic 5k where at every kilometer, you are doused in color (of the organic, non-toxic, edible kind). At the finish line, you look like Rainbow Brite, the Care Bear!

The most exciting thing about this particular race was, that I was doing it with my 11-year old daughter. Her very first 5k. And, she is not particularly fond of running. (See my previous blog, "give anything but up"!) I figured if there was ever a 5k that would get her excited about running - this was it!

We drove to the race early Saturday morning. I wanted to get there plenty early, because we had to pick up our packets and I wasn't sure how many people we would be dealing with. Wow! My first sign that this was not just another small, local footrace was the long line of cars at the exit on the freeway! It was hundreds of cars long and was moving at a snail's pace. Once we got to the event site, we were greeted my miles and miles of more cars, barricades, police directing traffic. I chuckled and whispered to myself, "we are not in Kansas anymore!" I started to worry as I looked at the clock and looked at the long line of people who were in line to pick up their packets. There was no way that we were all going to get our packets and take off from the starting line within the alloted time frame.

Well, the check-in line moved surprisingly fast. Once we got up to the front, another sign that this was not your usual race - our bib numbers were 12, 992 and 12.993. Then, an announcement over the loudspeaker said, "We have over 15,000 runners signed up for today's race...so, please make your way to the start line if you have already checked in." My heart did a somersault! The thought of 15,000 people taking off at the same time sent chills through my body. I was suddenly fearing for our lives.

After getting our packet, complete with our very own color packet to throw in the air at the finish, we found our way to the shortest port-a-potty line we could find. As I was standing in line, I overheard someone say that because there were so many people, they were going to start the run in waves. I looked down at my bib and realized there was no timing chip. I asked a guy next to me if the race was going to be timed. He sort of laughed and said, "No, there are way too many people to time it." Suddenly, my heart landed in place and stopped turning circles in my chest. A 5k that didn't clock your time? But, we had (sorta) trained for this. I had even set a personal goal for my daughter. Now, you are telling me that we can just have fun? We don't have to worry if we want to stop and walk or take photos? Wow. I sure wish someone had told me that earlier - it would have saved me a lot of unnecessary worry. All of a sudden, I wasn't scared anymore. I knew this was going to be a fun, memorable day for my girl. It was now all about HAVING a good time instead of GETTING a good time. I could suddenly breathe, relax and enjoy the ride.

all clean and ready to go!

So, we made our way over to the start line. Somehow, we ended up finding our friends (another mom/daughter duo) amongst the mass of people. And, we took off.

It was great! We ran, we talked, we walked, we stopped for water, took pictures, we got covered in color at each K - Blue, Orange, Yellow, Green and Pink.

At one point, I got too far ahead and lost my daughter in the sea of people and color. So, I stopped, ran backwards and waited until I found her, letting thousands of folks pass me by (something I wouldn't have done, had the race been timed!) I finally saw her round the corner, her tutu and pony tail bobbing up and down. I was so relieved! We ran to the finish line, hand in hand (I wasn't going to take a chance losing her again!). Our first, of many mother/daughter runs, I hope!

  

 

"It's not about GETTING a good time. It's about HAVING a good time."

the hardest thing

If there was ever a weekend that I wanted to go slow, it was last weekend. I moved my oldest child into the dorms a week ago today. We had a whole weekend of FUN planned and Sunday seemed like a world away. Thank God.

As we moved him in. I was loving the time with him as we unpacked boxes and hung up his shirts. The simplest of things seemed to fill me with such joy. My daughter and I helped make his bed. My husband helped him hook up his TV. We ate yummy cookies that his roommates' mom had left in the mini fridge. Fellow dormmates stopped by and introduced themselves. It was just so surreal that my boy was actually moving into the dorms. Across the way from my old dorm!

Friday came and some of us parents went on a "Wine Tour". What a great idea! Fill the parents up with wine so, the kids can enjoy a day all to themselves! We toured three different area wineries. We drank. We ate. We laughed. We talked about how much we were dreading saying good-bye. Again, I was so thankful that I wasn't heading home until Sunday. (One of my friends was heading home that evening and my heart just broke for her.) I was so happy I wasn't.

Saturday rolled around and my husband and I got up early and went for a run. There was a home football game that night. There were tailgate parties to attend. There was family to visit. It was a gorgeous fall day - and I was so happy that I had another 24 hours before I had to say good-bye. As I moved around that day, I felt a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. No amount of food or wine could fill the emptiness I felt. I had an underlying sense of dread and just felt sick to my stomach.

I had a wonderful night with family. Got to bed early. Went for another run the next day. And, then, it was as if I was awaiting the guiliotine - I knew the time had come for me to say good-bye. I headed off to Rite Aid, Safeway, Walgreen's to pick up some things my son had requested. I wanted to make sure I left him with lots of snacks and necessities for his dorm room. Again, I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach that just wouldn't go away.

We pulled up to his dorm. My son greeted us in the circular drive, already looking so much more independent and grown-up than he had when we first arrived just two days earlier. We unpacked groceries and went up to his room. We hung out and made small talk with he and his roommate for a few minutes. And then, I knew. I knew it was time to go. Time to let him finally be on his own. He'd waited 18 years for this and I owed him that much - to let him get on with it. Get out of his way.

He walked us down to the car. I gave him a hug. I heard him whisper in my ear, "Don't cry, mama". Of course, all I wanted to do was cry but, I tried not to. I didn't want his last memory of me to be a blubbering idiot! So, I held it together and held on for dear life. I didn't want to let go. I knew that as soon as I did, he would be walking into his new life and I would be going back to my old life...without him. It was the worst feeling I have felt yet as a parent. I felt like I was leaving a piece of me behind. I was leaving my boy in a city, two hours from home. I felt sooo sad.

Luckily, I had my 11 year old daughter with me. She hates it when I cry. So, I knew I had to keep it together for her sake. We pulled away and I sniffled and hid tears beneath my sunglasses. She asked if I was crying. I said, "No, it's just my allergies."

As we pulled out of town, I passed a cemetary. There was a crowd of people standing around a gravesite. A preacher was standing before them. At that moment, it hit me that I had no right to be sad. This was not a sad occasion, but a joyful, exciting new adventure in his life. It was almost as if God was whispering to me that I needed to snap out it and embrace this journey. Suddenly, I felt a sense of peace throughout my entire body and for the first time in days, my stomach didn't ache.

Now, I'm not saying that I haven't cried a few times since then. Once I got home and had some time to myself, I cried. I had all this emotion balled up inside of me that needed to come out. It felt good to release it. Later that night at church, I cried again. It just felt so strange to be at church with just the 3 of us in the pew. I missed my boy. I missed hearing him sing. I missed holding his hand during the "Our Father."

His old jeep still sits parked in front of our house. I swear, sometimes I will pull up after work and my heart skips a beat ... and then, I remember he is not home. I will go upstairs and pass his room and it looks so sterile and cold. Or I will be lying in bed at night, expecting him to walk in the door at any moment and say "I'm home." But, it doesn't happen.

I know this is a good thing. (For heaven's sake, it's not like he is dead.) And, I know that kids moving out and moving on is what you hope for as a parent. That is what we train them their whole lives to do. But, the reality of it, is that it is hard and it hurts to see them leave. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. And, yet I know it is a necessary and pivotal moment in both of our lives. I know he couldn't be happier. Sometimes, being a mom is tough, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

And, I can't wait 'til Thanksgiving Break.

give anything but up

My daughter started middle school last week. She also started cross country. She is not fond of running (atleast not yet!) and she has informed me that she is really only doing it so that she doesn't have to ride the bus home! Sort of sounds like the recipe for disaster, eh?

I picked her up on Day 1. She complained about how far they had to run and how hot it was and told me again that the only reason she was doing it, was to please me! As I drove home, I was thinking to myself, as I watched her in the rear view mirror, "Oh man, this is gonna be a long year!"

Day 2. She hopped in the car and said "we didn't have to run as far as yesterday". She seemed a little happier, lighter, not so grumpy. She also informed me that they have their first meet next week. And, surprisingly, it was not followed by "I don't want to go" or "I am soooo not looking forward to it!" When I asked her if she was giving it an effort, she said, "I am trying, mom." Oooh, progress. I will take "I am trying" over "this sucks!" any day!

Before school started, we were talking about it and she said even though she didn't want to do cross country, she would never quit. She went on to say that in her dance class, when someone quits, the entire class is forced to start over and do another dance because it doesn't work without that one person. She said, "It just makes it hard on the whole class and I don't think that's fair."

We often get that idea that once something is hard, we can just give up. I am so thankful that she is learning at an early age, that "quitters never win and winners never quit"! Amen.

The other day at practice they had to say their name and why they had gone out for cross country. (I could only imagine what she said. "Ummmm...I am only doing cross country so that I don't have to take the bus home." or "I hate running but, my mom made me do this!") Much to my surprise, she said, "I am doing this because my mom loves running!" Aww, that's sweet. Even if she is doing it more for me than her right now, I am hoping that, in the end, she might just end up enjoying it a little bit!

Just today, I saw a post on facebook that really hit home. It said: "DLF (Dead Last Finish) is greater than DNF (Did Not Finish) which trumps DNS (Did Not Start) anytime." Even if she ends up last in her heat, I am proud of my little girl for getting out there and trying. And, finishing last is way better than not ever getting out there at all. Go get 'em girl! I'm rooting for you.    -Mom

it's true what they say...

All those cliches. All the things people say about rasing kids. You hear 'em say it and it usually goes in one ear and out the other. You think to yourself, "Yeah, right...". When you are in the thick of child rearing, the days sometimes seem endless and you can't imagine a world where you will actually get to close the door when you go to the bathroom. You can't imagine a quiet house. Or better yet, one that stays clean while you are at work.

Don't blink, it goes by way too fast.
You're gonna miss this.
Kids grow fast - before you know it, you will be sending them off to college.

Yeah, Right.

You know what? They were right.

Next week, I will be moving my oldest child into the dorms at college. I can't believe how fast the last 18 years went by. Seems just yesterday, he was cruisin' around in diapers or was obsessing over firetrucks. Now, he is ordering textbooks online and packing boxes full of his most prized possessions.

Today, I drove past his high school on my way home from work, and just stopped and listened to the sounds coming from the football field. Afternoon football practice. I love the sound of kids working hard. Of coaches yelling things. I love the sight of all those kids in green jerseys. Running up and down the field. Expectations of the next game. I just love high school football. Period. What I miss the most right now is "Friday Night Lights". The lights. The speakers. The crowd in the bleachers. The calls. The boys of fall. The hot cocoa.

All I can say is that it does go by fast. Seems like just yesterday he started playing football; I still remember him breaking his thumb during the first game of the season, his junior year. Heartbreaking because he had to have surgery and sit out the entire rest of the season. Then, came his senior year. I went to every home game. He started most games. He even made the paper some mornings. I was such a proud mama!

Even though I don't feel 18 years older than the day he was born, I am. And, like it or not, my baby boy is growing up and becoming a man. His life is waiting. He has never been more ready. And it's time for me to let him go and discover all of it. Whether I am ready or not. Here we go!

the mountain

"Your off to great places.

Today is your day.

Your mountain is waiting

So, Get on your way!"

 Dr. Seuss

 



As summer rolls to an end, what better way to wrap it up, than to do an incredible hike? On Labor Day, I set off with my son, his friend and two girlfriends and headed up to conquer South Sister, the third largest mountain in Oregon. A 14-mile roundtrip adventure!

 

 

This hike has been on my "Bucket List" for quite awhile and I figured it was finally time to see what all the hype was about! I had heard from several people that "it was the hardest thing they have ever done" and that it was "harder than childbirth or running a half marathon!" None of that sounded particularly enthralling to me so, I put it off as long as I could. Until now.

 

I have a good friend who I trained for a half marathon with, who asked me if I wanted to do the hike over Labor Day. After much discussion and back and forths, she convinced me to do it. When I asked her if she really thought I could do it, she replied, "Yes, because I think you can do anything!" Wow. How was I supposed to respond to that other than by saying "OKAY, I'm in!"

 

So, we set out Monday morning at 7am. The first mile and a half was a tough, uphill through the forest. Luckily, I had brought trekking poles which really helped on the steep hills. Once we made it through the trees, we found ourselves on this clearing and got our first glimpse of our mountain!

 



So pretty!

 

Susan and I heading off on the trail

 

 

We continued on. For awhile it was pretty flat. Then, we began our ascent to the summit of South Sister. It was by far the hardest hike I have ever done. We plodded through lose rocks, switchbacks and boulders. I kept the prize in mind as I trudged onward, even though I couldn't see the top of the mounain yet. I had to stop several times. I got separated from the group, as they were all way ahead of me. There were many times, that I would stop and think to myself  "what if I can't make it up the whole way?" But, then I would block that thought out of my mind and keep going. I had to see the summit and get those award winning photographs! That is what everyone talks about. That is what I had come to do. There was no way I was going to let that mountain win!

 

I met some really cool people on the way up. A guy from Florida who had a matching pink bandana on (we took a picture together!), a woman who said she had lived in the area for 30 years and had never hiked S. Sister (I have only lived here 23 years and had never hiked it so, that made me feel a lot better!) There were young kids hiking with their dads. There were groups of young teenage kids. There were hot bods, old men and everything in between. One gal in particular, caught my eye as we were heading down...she was wearing super short black shorts with gators and was running down the hill. She was pretty amazing!

 

After a few hours of hiking. I finally reached the top! I came over the rim and heard my two girlfriends say, "You made it!" We still had to walk around a rocky ridge to get the views so, we did. Once we came up and over, I knew it was all worth it.

 



 Me and the other 2 Sisters!







After having lunch on the top and taking a gazillion photos, it was time to begin our descent. I was a little worried about that part, because I knew there was only one way down - and it wasn't in a private helicopter! The hike down was almost as hard as the uphill, with all the loose rocks and cinders. (Sidenote: two days after I did this hike, a young man had fallen 200 feet on the ice, hitting boulders and injuring his leg and had to be airlifted out! So happy that didn't happen before my hike!) Again, I was so happy to have my trekking poles to help me. But, even with the poles, I fell on my keester a number of times. I lost count at 5. In addition, my knees and feet were killing me. With each step down, my sore toes would jam into the front of my not-so-comfy hiking shoes. The hike down seemed to last forever. I couldn't even remember certain areas of the hike, even though I had just been there a few hours earlier.

 



 

The descent...gorgeous view, but grueling!

 

 

Once we reached the bottom, I kept looking up and saying, "I can't believe I climbed that!"

 

 

We got back to the car at 4pm, nine hours after we had started. The first thing I did was tear off my dusty hiking shoes and put on comfy flip flops! I was worried about what condition my toes would be in, but was happy to see no blisters. My toenails were sore to the touch, and I could see beneath my pink polish, that a little bruising had occured. (A few days later, I had the nerve to finally remove my nail polish and all but 2 nails had turned black and blue. Ouch!)

 

We headed to a nearby brewery and celebrated with a few rounds of cold beers, recounting the days hilights! It was a great feeling of accomplishment, pride and comraderie among the five of us. I was happy that I had finally conquered that mountain. And, I decided, that once was definitely enough! Now, onto the other items on my bucket list...

 











fear

I am what you might call a "scaredy cat!" I don't like fights (or even fight scenes in movies). I can't stand the sight of blood. I am a nervous flyer. The list goes on and on. I think I came by it honestly, though, because I was raised by a father who is literally afraid of everything. Don't get me wrong, he is an amazing dad. I had a perfect childhood with loving parents and a big family. He just instilled in us, early on, the idea of watching out for everyone and everything around you. When I was in high-school and working at a nearby mall, he insisted that I wear a baseball cap when driving home at night so, that passerbys would think I was male (smart idea, I guess). He would always tell me not to park near any vans without windows (duh!). And, growing up, we were never encouraged to participate in any type of adventure sports like skiing, rafting, boating or even camping for that matter. My dad had a friend who had lost his leg in a water skiing accident and he would remind of us of that story every single time we mentioned the idea of boating.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being cautious but, it is when we let our fears take over, that we start to lose sight of the true meaning of living. Since being diagnosed with a life changing disease like MS, I have found that I like to venture out of my comfort zone just to prove the disease wrong. Thus, my newfound addiction to running and my lust for going beyond my limits. This weekend, I am going to hike a mountain that has been on my bucket list for years. I can't wait to climb to the summit and look down at how far I have come and scream, "Hell yeah, Take that, MS!!"

I have tried to let my own kids discover what it is they enjoy in life without letting the fear of it freak me out! My son is an avid white-water river kayaker. My daughter loves to downhill ski. Yes, I worry about them getting hurt, but they could get hurt crossing the street. We can't keep our kids safe from everything...in fact, we can't really keep them safe from anything. The best we can do is give them the tools & knowledge to do something right and hope and pray for the best. Let God take over the rest. I read somewhere that "worrying is taking on a responsibility that belongs to God." I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to step on the Big Guys' toes!

Fear is a funny thing. Webster's describes it as "anxious anticipation of danger or pain." My mama always told me that 95% of the stuff I worry about will never come true. Another great quote is: "Worry does not empty tomorrow of it's sorrows, it empties today of it's strength." Think about it. We spend so much time worrying about things that never even happen. What a waste of energy! We could be enjoying our todays so much more. The bible even tells us, "Do not worry about tomorrow, today has enough troubles of it's own." Time to end the madness! Stop worrying about the "whatifs" and grab ahold of your life and do the stuff that scares you. Feel the fear and DO IT anyway!!

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

earn the downhills

I am training for my third half marathon in October...so, I've been running quite a bit lately. This morning, my running partner and I ran a 5-miler along the Deschutes River. It is so beautiful. No better way to start the day, than to run past cascading rapids or to hear that rushing water sound as you run along the dirt trail next to it. So invigorating. So refreshing. I posted a saying on my facebook early this morning that read: "Just 5 miles away from a good mood." And, I meant it!

I love running the river trail, but it does have some pretty good sized hills. I recently saw another saying on my favorite running site that said: "Earn your downhills." I love that, because hills are a necessary evil when doing long runs but, thanfully, what goes up, must come down!

Today, the kids and I decided to go on a hike. We woke up early, put the dog in her traveling crate, stopped for bagels and were OFF on an excellent adventure! We headed up to Mt. Bachelor (the ski resort 18 miles from our house). In years past, we have ridden the chair lift up to the mid-mountain lodge and hiked around in the snow, letting the dog run up and down snowy hills. So fun to see and feel the cold snow in August!!

This year, we decided to do some budget cutting! Instead of paying the $32 it would cost for me and my son to ride up on the chair...(daughter and dog are free because the first has a season ski pass and the second, well, is a dog!) we decided to hike up rather than ride up. And, the hidden bonus? The ride down is always FREE!

What a great experience it turned out to be! At first, the mountain was a bit intimidating...as we set out on the gravel road. We found a little dirt trail and did some switchbacks until we found ourselves directly under the chair lift going straight uphill. We slowly proceeded up the non-existent trail some 2 miles and rose about 1,400 feet in elevation. The ground was soft and crumbly, rocks that looked sturdy were not. Let's just say it was a lot more technical than it looked from below in the parking lot!

At a certain point, I realized that it would actually be harder to hike back down (given the loose rocks) than it would be to keep climbing to the top. That is when a little bit of anxiety mixed with equal parts dread and fear, started to creep into my psyche. My daughter, however was doing just fine. She is usually full of complaints and whiney retorts but, surprisingly, she was being a total sport! It was ME who had to be convinced to keep going this time.

Kids and dog take a little rest break...

As we walked, we talked about all sorts of stuff...her upcoming school year - making the leap from elementary to middle school, whether or not she wanted to go out for cross country, make-up brands and you tube videos that she likes...and a couple times, she would say, "Are you wishing we had taken the chair up?" Both times, I replied back, "No, because this way we earn our ride down the mountain and that makes it all the more rewarding!" I said things like: "If it were easy, everyone would be doing this" and "nothing great was ever achieved without a little hard work and sweat." Perfect teaching moments. We would see people above us, riding aimlessly and carefree on the chair and I'd say, "See, they have no idea how much work it takes to hike this thing and they are missing out." We on the other hand, were earning our free downhill ride.

Once we reached the top, we couldn't help but feel a little proud. When we looked down below us to the many lakes, buttes and mountain tops, we couldn't help but feel like we had accomplished something big. I told my daughter, "See if you can do this, you can definitely run a 5k!" I think that this small hike boosted her confidence level in ways neither one of us would have ever imagined.

Maggie enjoying the free ride down!

 

 

Life is a series of ups and downs. But, it is when you go through the hard stuff on the way up and "earn the downhills" that you truly realize your full potential.

 

 



a million little things

Ahhh...one month from today. My boy will be leaving the nest and moving into his dorm room at my alma mater. It is truly a time of celebrating, rejoicing that he made it through high school and is now going on to college, to the place where I spent 4 of the most wonderful years of my life. I know there are a lot of parents who would give anything to have their adult children move out of the house! Me? Not so much. I mean, he doesn't even turn 18 until next weekend, still a baby in my book! :)

The thing is that I am going to miss having our little foursome (well, 5 including the dog!) under one roof. Once he moves out, things will never really be the same. There are so many little things I am going to miss...

Here are a few of them..

• Making chamomille tea for my boy at night (we started this tradition a couple years ago so, I did buy him an electric kettle and stocked up on tea in the hopes he will continue...)
• Saying good night to him (most) every night
• Friday night football games
• The dog barking when he comes home after hours, alerting us that he is home
• Road trips where we rock out to our fave country tunes and talk about stuff (some of my favorite memories are just he and I in the car)
• Making him breakfast
• Sitting down to dinner as a family, talking about our day
• Asking him about his day, working as a caddy (he usually has some funny story from his day on the golf course)
• Telling him to put on sunscreen as he heads out the door
• All of his funny sayings that we fondly refer to around here as "AJisms!"

Mostly, I am just going to miss having my boy around. He brings so much to the table. He lights up a room when he walks into it. He is always saying, "Hi Mama" or "G'nite Mama" or "Love you Mama" and I am going to miss that.

I once heard someone say, "you can't be jealous of someone you love" which is so true! I am not really jealous, just happy and excited for him as he begins this new adventure but, if I'm being honest, I gotta say, I just wish I could go along with him and hold his hand a little longer! I mean, he can't possibly make tea all by himself, can he?

"It is the sweet simple things of life

which are the real ones after all..."

Laura Ingalls Wilder

the best day

Today, was a lovely day. The kind of day that just makes you smile. The kind of day that makes you so thankful to live in a beautiful city in the good ol' USofA! The kind of day, that once it has started, you decide, "I should do a blog about this day!" So here it is ... my idea of a perfect day!

The best day.

I will preface by saying that my daughter is away at camp this week, so I have had some extra "ME" time. I am trying to do stuff that I can't do when she is around. Lay by the pool, and read my book. Get a facial at the beauty school and a manicure at the fancy salon downtown. Float the river with my hubby in our kayak. Ride bikes to the new brewery by our house. Nap in the middle of the day. You get the idea, right?

Today, I had a 10am manicure appointment at a fancy salon downtown called "Tangerine". My dear friend and running buddy, Rachel gave me a gift certificate back in May for my bday and I had yet to use it. I had placed it on my desk so, everyday I would look at it and be reminded that I needed to schedule some "ME" time to go do it.

 

Here's a picture of it. It is right next door to the only fancy hotel we have in Bend, The Oxford Hotel. I had never been to this particular salon and not sure I would have gone if I didn't have a gift certificate!! But, I totally fell in love with it, had the best conversation with my nail gal and walked out feeling so amazing with pretty pink nails to boot! Oh, I love me a fresh new coat of paint!

I had decided to ride my bike to my appointment. And, boy am I glad I did! I had plans to meet a good friend for lunch so, I figured I could just tool around town and take in the sights. I threw my book and a blanket in my basket at the last minute, just in case I had extra time and then, I was off!

On the way, I drove thru my banks' ATM drive-thru and waved at the gal in the window. Took out some cash and headed downtown. ( I don't know why it makes me so giddy to ride my bike thru drive-thrus that are clearly meant for cars, but it does!)

After my fab mani, I rode down towards the Old Mill shopping district...on my way, I passed a cute lil' drive thru coffee kiosk...saw a friend of mine in the drive-up window on her bike and said, "This must be the drive-up bike window!" I ordered a yummy salted caramel blended frappacino w/whipped cream, recommended by the barista!! (Hey, I was burning so many damn calories, I might as well indulge, right?!)

There's my lil' bike parked out front!

From there, I headed down to the Old Mill (where I was meeting my friend for lunch in an hour).

(So happy I remembered to put a bungie cord in my basket to serve as a drink holder! :)

Once I got to the Old Mill, I decided to camp out on the grass and read my book. (I am reading the BEST book right now called "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed. It's one woman's story about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail all by herself! So good.) Anyhoo, I found a great spot under a tree and layed out my blankie and began reading (while sipping on my delish frap).

As I sat there reading, I realized I have never done this before. I mean, I have ridden my bike plenty to and from places, but never really toured the city like I was doing and certainly never parked my booty right smack dab in the middle of a busy shopping/dining hub. I loved watching the folks, taking in the gorgeous view (see pics below) and just listening to the sounds of my little city. A mom and her 2 sons were riding bikes, the boys were complaining about being hungry, hot and tired. So, the mom said in sort of sad, melancholy voice, "Alright, I'll return my bike to the rental place now." I felt so sad for her! And, I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I glanced over at my lil' cruiser and quietly whispered, "I'm glad you are mine!"

Mt. Bachelor peeking through the trees and Deschutes River in the foreground.

The 3 Sisters and Broken Top mountains.

Ahh...I love my little town! Finally, it was time to meet my friend for lunch. So, I walked my bike over to the restaurant and we sat at a wonderful outdoor table, overlooking the same river and mountains pictured above. We dined on the salad sampler, broiled butternut squash appetizer and wine. We lingered at our table long after we'd paid our bill, the way people do, who are in no hurry to go anywhere. It was simply delicious!



Cheers! Here's to more days like today!













finding greatness in the ordinary

I miss the Olympics. I loved waking up and turning on the TV to see the latest developments in London overnight. I loved staying up late and watching the last of the day's races. I loved the little vignettes that highlighted the athlete's amazing stories. And I especially loved the commercials!! All those P&G "Thank you, Moms" that made me cry. I really loved the Nike ad of the overweight 12 year old boy running - "Find Your Greatness"!

This morning on The Today Show, Matt Lauer interviewed Nathan, (the 12 year old boy) and his mom. I guess there has been some backlash towards this ad and people think that he was being exploited. They think that he should be embarrassed to be on national TV looking like he does. They blame his mother for allowing this to happen. Really?

What is wrong with people? This 12 year old was happy as a clam to be chosen to be in Nike's olympic commercial! Who wouldn't be? He was so excited to see himself running on the big screen during the Olympics. In fact, he is now motivated (mostly by the "haters" of the commercial) to start working out and "getting off his feet".  If that's not a classic case of the ends justifying the means, I don't know what is.

Matt also interviewed Donny Deutsch, a well-known NY advertising executive to get his insight on the commercial. Deutsch said he loved the commercial and thought Nike did a great job and anyone who doesn't like it is discriminating. His point was, that we see all these sculpted bodies during the Olympics and that an ad like this is good, because people can relate to it much more than perfection. He goes on to say, "if this ad gets one kid off the couch" then it has served its purpose and "shame on" anyone who doesn't get this.

When it comes down to it, aren't we all striving to find our own little piece of greatness? The Olympics motivate us to do more. They push us to overcome our own insecurities and step out of our comfort zones. It makes me sad and angry that people can find fault in the most benign things. Just because your idea of greatness doesn't match someone else's idea of greatness, doesn't mean it's any less great.

Kudos to this adorable kid for stepping out of his comfort zone and showing the world what he's made of. I'm fairly certain we haven't seen the last of him.

dorm smarts

Oh Boy! Times have changed! 29 years ago, when I was getting ready to head off to college, I don't remember packing much. I mean, I was going to live in a 10x10 shoebox afterall. I think my packing list consisted of: toothbrush, toothpaste, washcloths, towel, hangers and laundry bag - Oh, and maybe some whiteout (remember that stuff?) and a roll of quarters for the centrally located hallway pay phone! It certainly was not the SEVEN page "Student's Dorm Room Checklist" that we just received in the mail! Seriously, people, do college freshman really NEED all this stuff? There is one page alone dedicated to Computers and Electronics. There is also an entire section devoted to Cooking, Cleaning and Laundry supplies. Good Lord, back in my day, we ate food in the cafeteria (not our rooms), we didn't have anything to clean (we shared a communal bathroom) and laundry consisted of lugging our pillowcases down to the basement and throwing a few coins in the washing machine.

Nowadays, you 've got laptops, laptop sleeves, laptop bags, cables, surge protectors and printers. Basically these kids all have mini Best Buys in their dorm rooms! Oh, and of course, don't forget the expensive laptop locks, just in case, God forbid, someone steals your laptop when you run to the bathroom. Ugh!

My son is deadset on bringing his 47" flatscreen which he bought with his own money the day after Thanksgiving last year. He bought it with the sole intention of taking it to college. I don't know if he has stepped foot in the dorms lately, but there is barely room for a clock radio so, not sure how he will swing this. But, knowing him, he will find a way. And, I guess the plus side of a flatscreen is that they don't take up much shelf space. When I was a freshman in the dorms, we had a community TV room in the basement. That is where we all gathered on Sunday nights to watch Dallas or weekday soap operas between classes.

Well, back to the "Dorm Room Checklist"... I figured I better shop in installments so as not to have it hit the pocketbook all at once. So, today, we went to Costco and Dollar Tree and spent $44 at both stores. Here's what we bought at each one:



$44. 4 items. Paper plates, Cetaphil, Ziploc Bags and Napkins. (Costco)

$44. 44 items. Hand towels, washcloths, air freshners, dish towels, food storage containers, garbage bags, plastic cups, pizza cutter, spatula, paper towels, chip clips, can opener, utensils, cutting board, memo board, assorted cleaning products and a big bucket to name a few. (Dollar Tree)

As I am writing this blog, my husband came home for lunch and saw all this stuff laying around the living room. His first words were "What the hell is all this for?" I laughed and said, "My sentiments exactly." Then, he goes into a long dissertation about how he took only 2 suitcases of clothes, his skis (he went to school in Colorado) and a toothbrush to school (bedding and pillows were a total afterthought for him). I laughed again and said, "Welcome to Dorm Living 2012".

Okay, another thing. I thought this LIST came from my son's college. But, he just informed that he printed it all out on line on some random website called www.dormsmart.com. It is a generic dorm room checklist. I realized at that moment that I may have been "duped" into buying a bunch of stuff he really doesn't need or that may not even fit in his given dorm room. Oh well, atleast I shop at the Dollar Tree so, my money goes a little further!  I have a better name for that webste, perhaps, www.dupeyourmomintothinkingyouneedallthisshit.com.

And, one final thing: reading down the list of supplies, I come across small funnel. I asked my son, "What could you possibly need a funnel for?" And then, I laughed and said, "Oh, just take my beer bong and save yourself the trouble of making one!"

Ahhhh...College Life! Maybe things haven't changed all that much afterall!

return to the run

Okay, I managed to run consecutively for 28 days. I had originally set out to run everyday the whole month of July...but, as the month neared to a close, I decided that the month was just a few days too long. (I mean, had it been February, I would have accomplished my goal!) Rewind to last Sunday morning: I am laying in bed. My house is full of sleeping kids (I have my brother's two kids in addition to my daughter) and a dog and is absent one husband and son. I wake up after a restful slumber and peel off my eye mask and peer at the clock. It is 8am and the house is eerily quiet! I think to myself, I could get up and run OR I could lay here and relish in this peaceful moment and wait for my darling little nephew to come stumbling in, all sleep-eyed. I chose Plan B! And, boy was I glad. The little guy came wandering in my room a little after 8 and took his spot next to me and our sleeping dog, on my bed. At first, I thought he was going to go back to sleep, so I closed my eyes and again relished in the moment - having a 4 year old boy nestled beside me in my bed - and lay there with my heart full of joy. I opened my eyes a few minutes later, only to find the cutest, blue-eyed boy gazing up at me, his chin perched in his little hands. He was totally quiet ... but, wide awake! I asked him if he wanted to cuddle some more or get up. He said in the quietest, sweetest voice, "Let's. Get. Up."

And to think I could have missed that sweet moment. Sometimes the best plan is the alternate one.

Fast forward to this morning: I reignited my passion for running after a week hiatus! My running partner and I started our 10-week training for an October Half Marathon, today. The alarm went off at 6am. I lay there for a few minutes, wondering why in the world this rude noise was disturbing my peaceful slumber. And, then I looked over and saw my running clothes all layed out. And remembered. If it were not for my amazing running partner, Rachel showing up to my house in 15 minutes, I would have pulled the covers over my head in a heartbeat...but, alas! We had some catching up to do (both in  running and in life!) So, I headed out the door.

I am happy to be back to my routine. My legs are rested. My heart pitter pattered again for the first time in a week. The endorphins were back. I came home all "Sweaty Betty" and red-faced. It felt so good. Truth is, I am just happier when I run.

But, sometimes, even the best of intentions need to take a back seat to life's little pleasures. Like cuddling up with a sleepy head 4-year old. Or staying in bed an extra hour on a Sunday morning to read the paper with your hubby. Life is good, even delicious at times. Eat it up! Set goals...but, don't get so caught up in achieving them that you lose sight of the good stuff.

Streaking with my clothes on!

I have mentioned before that I am an "All or Nothing" kind of gal. Yep! That would be me...I either resist the plate of nachos or I eat the whole thing in its entirety in a matter of minutes! I go on the wagon for weeks at a time, but once I fall off, it is ALL OVER and no can of Coors Light or bottle of chardonnay within a few inches is safe!!

To stay motivated between half marathons, I decided to challenge myself for the month of July to run EVERYDAY! They call that "streaking" in running lingo! You can become a streaker by either running everyday for a certain period of time or you could run the same race year after year and be considered a "streaker". Either way, it sounded like fun to me and it satisfied my "all or nothing" way of life. One lady I read about ran everyday for 365 days and drank a different kind of beer everyday after her run (I think she drank 2 beers the very last day)!! I thought that was pretty cool...but, since I'm a devout Coors or Budweiser girl, I would run out of beer choices mid-way through the week! :)

So, I am on Day 17 of this personal challenge and so far, so good! I have managed to run everyday...somedays, it is all I can do to get moving and run a mile (aka "The morning after gals wine night!"). Other days, I feel as if I could run forever! My shortest run has been 1 mile and my longest run has been 4.2, averaging 2.51 a day. This sort of challenge works well for me because I know that if I stop, I will be done. So, it has become somewhat of a game with me to keep the streak going. The tricky part is geting out there early, before it gets too hot. I have been pretty good about that and so far, have only had to run in the heat of the day once! (I also set a goal for 2012 to run atleast 12 miles a week, so this keeps me on track with that goal as well.)

Turns out, I come by this "All or Nothing" attitude rather honestly. I come from a long line of "AorNAYer's". This patten is most evident in my older brother, Kevin who I believe holds the World's Record for longest consecutive jump roping!! He started jump roping on March 22, 1997 and never stopped. That is 15 plus years of jump roping, people! Every. Single. Day. When he first started, he lost 60 lbs! Now, it has become a way of life and probably somewhat of an addiction. He has jump roped under the Eifel Tower, at the Vatican; all sorts of exciting and unusual places! He even forgot his jump rope one time on vacation so, he made a makeshift one out of the phone cord!! Gotta love that kind of creative thinking!

It really is almost easier to do something everyday than it is to say you will do it 4 times a week. If you know you are going to run everyday, then there is no negotiating with yourself. You don't start making deals with yourself like, "I can take tomorrow off if I run today" or "I can push the snooze button and run extra tomorrow!" You just get up and do it. And, pretty soon, it becomes habit.

"Just Do it. And Do It Again Everyday."

Embrace your weaknesses!!

"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I absolutely love this scripture. It is so comforting to me in times of trial or tribulation. Often we wonder why God allows suffering in our world and I think this verse sums it up. If it were not for tough times, we would never know how strong we are. And, let's admit it, we often don't turn to God until we are in trouble. Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life" writes an entire chapter on God's Power in your Weakness. He says: "Your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts." Other people can find healing in our wounds, just as we found salvation and redemption in Christ's suffering on the cross.

Warren goes on to say "God has never been impressed with strength or self sufficiency, in fact He is drawn to people who are weak and admit it." In the bible, this is especially evident in Paul. He said, "I am quite happy about the 'thorn' ...for when I am weak, then I am strong - the less I have, the more I depend on Him." According to Warren, "our weaknesses prevent arrogance and keep us humble." I have found this to be so true in my own life. It is often during times when things are at their worst (whether it be financially, health-wise or just facing a small crisis) that I am most content. I find that it is during these times that I focus more on what I do have and on the things that I can control. I turn to God for guidance and end up feeling truly blessed and full.

I love the idea of God using us, with all of our weakness and imperfections, to keep us humble and to bring us closer to Him. Being honest and vulnerable is also what leads to true connections with others. No one likes that person who always has a fake smile plastered on their face, acting as if nothing is ever wrong in their life. It is when we admit our weaknesses and let down our guard that God can truly begin to work in our lives and we can begin to connect with others around us in a meaningful way. I have seen this at play so many times in my own life. Friendships in which I allow myself to "go deep" and get real about life situations and feelings, take on a whole new dimension and become so much more emotionally satisfying than just an ordinary acquaintance. I can tell my true friends by how many times we have cried together!

Being weak is not a curse, it's a blessing. It is anything that causes us to stop and examine our own lives and lean on God a little more. It is anything that allows us to become more "real" and humble in our relations to other people. So, the next time you face a particularly challenging situation, remember, it is these times that God uses us the most! I can't help but find comfort in that!

(As I type this blog, my fingers are tingling and I have a strange numbing sensation in my thumbs! Just another strange and annoying reminder that I have MS! Only now, I can rejoice in these small inconveniences knowing that God is using me for a greater purpose  - and I have an excuse for any misspelled words! Ha!)

MS Doesn't mean "No Mas"!!

Recently, I have been doing my best to just forget that I have MS. Training for and running my second half marathon (last weekend) makes me feel rather "studly" and makes me feel strong and invincible! I usually don't even think about having MS until my monthly IV. And, then, I'm like "Wait a minute, Why am I sitting in this chair with a needle in my arm? Oh yeah, I have MS!" I sit there for a couple hours and then I walk out the door and go on with my life.

MS is a funny thing. I have heard it referred to as the "But you look so good" disease! Which is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because to the outside world, I look normal. I can walk, run, jump and do pretty much anything any of my friends can do...Okay, let's be honest, I often do MORE than any of my friends in a given day. On the other hand, though, it can be a curse because no one really knows just how much it sucks! As much as people try to empathize, unless they've been in my shoes, they just don't know. They don't know the fear that I know. The fear of uncertainty...wondering if I'll end up in a wheelchair someday, wondering if my children will get this disease, or wondering how long I will feel this good. Come to think of it, those are things we all worry about, MS or not, right?

 I consider myself very lucky because at the moment, I don't really have any glaring symptoms (thanks to my medication!) and I feel pretty normal. But, there are times that I'll be laying in bed and cannot feel my lower legs and feet. When I wake up in the morning, it is a bit hard to get my bearings. I stagger to the bathroom...a little unsteady on my feet. There are times when I forget things...mostly short-term stuff, like "why did I walk in this room?" or "what in the hell was I looking for just now?" Then, there are those times when I will be searching frantically for my expensive sunglasses, only to have someone (usually a small child) say, "Aren't those them on your head?" I truly don't know if I can blame MS for all of these mishaps or if some of it is just the natural progression of age. I imagine that it's a little of both.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that even though I have MS, it does not dictate how I live my life. Life is uncertain for all of us. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. I don't use it as an excuse to not try new things or push myself beyond my limitations...rather, I use it as motivation to go further. I run because I know that someday, my legs may not be as strong and capable as they are today. I do crosswords everyday because I know that someday, my mind may not be as clear as it is today. I try to greet each day with excitement because I know what it's like to want to crawl back under the covers and hide from the world...when it hurts just to get out of bed. I am thankful that God has given me another day, a day that I feel good. MS has been such a gift - a reminder that life is fragile and that everything can change in the blink of an eye. A reminder that none of us is guaranteed tomorrow and we have no right to take a single moment for granted. A reminder to seize the day!

So, just for today, I am going to forget that I have MS. One day at a time, baby. One day at a time.

Taking a break from my busy day to get a stinkin'  IV! And yes, I am rockin' a pair of cowboy boots with my sundress!!



Olympic Track Trials

I had a chance yesterday to witness history in the making. I got to spend the day in beautiful Eugene, Oregon..."Track Town USA" watching the Olympic Track and Field trials. Wow! What a cool experience!

Before I took up running, you wouldn't have caught me dead at a track trial. Never have had an iota of interest in watching them. But, now that my love affair with the almighty run has blossomed into a full-blown affair, all I wanted to do was attend the trials this year. Tickets weren't cheap. The weather wasn't great. Had to drive over and back within 24 hours due to prior commitments...but, man, was it worth it!

Just watching these amazing men and women run...and jump...and throw...and hurdle! Well, it is nothing short of beautiful! Their long, lean and strong legs leave you gaping in awe that a human body can actually look like that! And, oh, don't even get me started on their washboard abs!!! :)

The most interesting event for me was the Women's Steeplechase Finals, the last event of the day. The women have to run around the track 7 1/2 times, while jumping over hurdles, one of which has a pool of water to jump over as well...It amazes me what grace and dignity these agile athletes exhibit and I am in awe as they run so fast all the while jumping over the hurdles. I mean, I can barely manage to make it over small rocks and weeds when I run...I can't imagine having to hurl myself over several barricades! It also amazes me that a milisecond can make the difference in packing your bags to go to London or packing your bags to go home. Never again, will I doubt the significance of shaving minutes or even seconds off my race times. One of their slogans, reads: "From Eugene to London in 22 seconds!" I now know first hand, how true that is.

I witnessed some of the fastest runners in the trials...Sanya Richards-Ross, Allyson Felix and Emma Coburn. Watch for these ladies! They will no doubt be making some waves in London!

It was just cool to have a birds eye view at an event that is so awe-inspiring and tradition-laden such as this. I feel blessed to have been able to go. And, I realize that, yes, I have become a bonafide, official running GEEK because I was totally wrapped up in the days events, never once leaving my seat...glued to the "going ons" below me. The "old me" would have never done that! The "old me" would have spent more time in the beer garden than on the bleachers. The "old me" would have thought a steeplechase was when two people are rushing to the altar to get married! I have to smile when I think how far I've come in the last 2 years and how much running has changed my life and interests!

Emma Coburn wins the Womens Steeplechase Finals...