Tuesday, April 10, 2018

don't be a lookdown

Just last week, while on vacation with my family, we visited the lovely Monterey Aquarium in Northern California. The place was sprawling, full of unique and beautiful sea life. One display really struck me and continues to haunt me. I learned that there is a species of fish called The Lookdown. They have a very distinct flat, grey disk-like body and apparently got their name because as they swim, they look down over their upturned nose. I guess you could call them the "snobby" fish of the sea. But, what I found slightly depressing as I gazed at this display, was that they were swimming in a small funnel type case, round and round in circles. Going nowhere. Looking down. All day long.

The next week as I was working out at the gym, I saw another thing that was a bit depressing and made me think back to the "lookdown" fish that I had previously learned about. I was on the elliptical machine, above the gymnasium and basketball court. A young man, most likely of high-school age, was practicing his basketball shots. I watched him for about 15 minutes. During this time, he checked his phone exactly 10 times. I calculate that to be every 1.5 minutes. Disengaging from a healthy, physical activity every one and a half minutes to check his screen. What he was looking for is beyond me. I mean, he wasn't exactly swishing each and every shot, so pretty sure he wasn't waiting for a text from his agent! But, each time the ball bounced out of bounds or went across the gym, he would take his phone out of his pocket and glance down at the screen while he strolled lazily across the gym floor. It was almost a "knee jerk" reaction. It was like he couldn't bear the thought of walking across the gymnasium without checking his phone. Most times, he would just look down and put the phone back in his pocket.

A few minutes later, a couple of younger boys showed up. The high-school boy asked to join them. What I observed in the ensuing 10 minutes, was that the same exact boy who was addicted to the screen moments earlier, was now engaged and completely oblivious of the technological tool buzzing away in his pocket. It made me happy. And sad. All at once.

Sad because it illustrates how addicted our kids have become to their phones; that our children have never been more disconnected than they are now. They make friends over Snap Chat but, rarely talk to those same people in real time. They can't find their homework but, you can bet they can see where their best friend's second cousin is spending Spring Break, thanks to Snap Map. Our kids are obsessed about how many "likes" their latest Instagram post received yet, fail to hear the accolades and praise of their own parents because they are too busy checking texts. They have become so dependent on the instant gratification provided by technology that they don't even know how to spend their recreational/down time without it.

Our world has never been more broken. Our children have never been more mislead. Our job as parents has never been more important. We are losing an entire generation to this high tech, man-made monstrosity that we call smart phones. Hmmmm. Doesn't sound very smart to me.

So, why did this same scenario give me hope? It gave me hope that maybe, just maybe there is a solution to this subdivide among our youth today. And it's an easy fix. Won't cost a dime.  It's called real, face-to-face interaction. Oh, I know! This is a novel, newfangled and fanatical idea! But, what if we put it into practice? Think of the lives that could be saved, changed and enhanced.

And this is where parenting comes in. We have got to teach our kids by example. Go outside and say hello to our neighbors, instead of texting them. Go up to someone in the breakroom and invite them to an event in person, not by sending them an Evite. Tell someone you like their new outfit, hair do or car by actually saying the words NOT by clicking a button. Our kids are watching! We have to bridge this ever-growing, gaping hole between real, personal interaction and what we are doing now.

This whole concept of the "lookdown" fish made me think of a few other times in life where simply looking up could save our lives.

When driving, "look up, not down". It could literally save your life.

Upon waking, "look up, not down". Okay, it may not save your life, but I promise it will make your day go smoother.

Only when we look up, can we begin to see each other for who we really are and finally gain a deeper connection. But, until that happens, our youth will continue to slip further and further away from us. Going nowhere. Looking down. All day long. And, I don't want that to be on me.



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