Who you calling passive aggressive?

I love the fact that as I approach the ripe ol' age of 50, I can learn new things and more importantly, I can actually put them into action!

My latest project is overcoming Passive Aggressive behavior.  Now, let's be honest, everybody has a little of this behavior unless maybe you are Mother Theresa or Pioneer Woman but...chances are if you are reading my blog, you have a little "PA" in you!

Lately, I've done a little research on the subject and I'm happy to report that I come by this trait honestly! What I've learned is that if you grew up in a traditional family where one parent was dominant and conflict was usually avoided, well then, you may have inherited a little more than the family rear end! (And for the record, yes I got that too!) Lucky Me!

Passive Aggressiveness is described as "sugar coated hostility" and boy, does that hit the nail on the head! Anytime you say something other than what you'd like to actually say, that is "PA". Anytime you respond with a sarcastic remark, you are being "PA". Anytime you post a status or photo with a slight intention to piss someone off...yep, you got it: "PA"! Give your hubby the silent treatment much? Yup! (They say the worst "F" word to come out of a woman's mouth is "Fine!") This little gem takes on all kinds of forms but any way you slice it, it's sour puss pie!

The real problem with sour puss pie is that the more you eat it, the more it harms you. The person you are mad at continues along their road in life without a care in the world, while you are seething with anger, frustration and resentment.  Nothing will ever get better if you continue to eat from this "not so humble" pie, because the very thing that is causing you pain is the thing that you can't let go of. It's like continuing to down a fifth of whiskey and wondering why you have such a killer headache! You can't conquer your demons if you aren't willing to acknowledge them.  Plain and simple. Face the demon. Free yourself from it's grasp. It really is that easy.

So, if it's that easy, why do we continue to do it? Because it's much easier to be angry than to face conflict. There are those who are so afraid of conflict that they will do just about anything to avoid it. Sounds crazy, huh?

The best thing you can do for yourself, for your health and your entire quality of life is to face your fears no matter what they are. One moment of discomfort is worth a thousand moments of bliss. Once you release whatever it is that is bothering you, you will suddenly feel a lightness, a joy that is indescribable. You gotta feel it to really appreciate it but, it is oh so sweet!

And the best way to avoid this thing in the future is to address problems as they arise. Nip it in the bud. Cut it short. Don't let it fester. No good comes from that.

In the end, you will suffer way less if you let it all out than if you hold it all in. And if you let it out little by little, even better! And remember:

"Comfort is the enemy of achievement"

Embrace your weaknesses!!

"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I absolutely love this scripture. It is so comforting to me in times of trial or tribulation. Often we wonder why God allows suffering in our world and I think this verse sums it up. If it were not for tough times, we would never know how strong we are. And, let's admit it, we often don't turn to God until we are in trouble. Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life" writes an entire chapter on God's Power in your Weakness. He says: "Your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts." Other people can find healing in our wounds, just as we found salvation and redemption in Christ's suffering on the cross.

Warren goes on to say "God has never been impressed with strength or self sufficiency, in fact He is drawn to people who are weak and admit it." In the bible, this is especially evident in Paul. He said, "I am quite happy about the 'thorn' ...for when I am weak, then I am strong - the less I have, the more I depend on Him." According to Warren, "our weaknesses prevent arrogance and keep us humble." I have found this to be so true in my own life. It is often during times when things are at their worst (whether it be financially, health-wise or just facing a small crisis) that I am most content. I find that it is during these times that I focus more on what I do have and on the things that I can control. I turn to God for guidance and end up feeling truly blessed and full.

I love the idea of God using us, with all of our weakness and imperfections, to keep us humble and to bring us closer to Him. Being honest and vulnerable is also what leads to true connections with others. No one likes that person who always has a fake smile plastered on their face, acting as if nothing is ever wrong in their life. It is when we admit our weaknesses and let down our guard that God can truly begin to work in our lives and we can begin to connect with others around us in a meaningful way. I have seen this at play so many times in my own life. Friendships in which I allow myself to "go deep" and get real about life situations and feelings, take on a whole new dimension and become so much more emotionally satisfying than just an ordinary acquaintance. I can tell my true friends by how many times we have cried together!

Being weak is not a curse, it's a blessing. It is anything that causes us to stop and examine our own lives and lean on God a little more. It is anything that allows us to become more "real" and humble in our relations to other people. So, the next time you face a particularly challenging situation, remember, it is these times that God uses us the most! I can't help but find comfort in that!

(As I type this blog, my fingers are tingling and I have a strange numbing sensation in my thumbs! Just another strange and annoying reminder that I have MS! Only now, I can rejoice in these small inconveniences knowing that God is using me for a greater purpose  - and I have an excuse for any misspelled words! Ha!)