My latest project is overcoming Passive Aggressive behavior. Now, let's be honest, everybody has a little of this behavior unless maybe you are Mother Theresa or Pioneer Woman but...chances are if you are reading my blog, you have a little "PA" in you!
Lately, I've done a little research on the subject and I'm happy to report that I come by this trait honestly! What I've learned is that if you grew up in a traditional family where one parent was dominant and conflict was usually avoided, well then, you may have inherited a little more than the family rear end! (And for the record, yes I got that too!) Lucky Me!
Passive Aggressiveness is described as "sugar coated hostility" and boy, does that hit the nail on the head! Anytime you say something other than what you'd like to actually say, that is "PA". Anytime you respond with a sarcastic remark, you are being "PA". Anytime you post a status or photo with a slight intention to piss someone off...yep, you got it: "PA"! Give your hubby the silent treatment much? Yup! (They say the worst "F" word to come out of a woman's mouth is "Fine!") This little gem takes on all kinds of forms but any way you slice it, it's sour puss pie!
The real problem with sour puss pie is that the more you eat it, the more it harms you. The person you are mad at continues along their road in life without a care in the world, while you are seething with anger, frustration and resentment. Nothing will ever get better if you continue to eat from this "not so humble" pie, because the very thing that is causing you pain is the thing that you can't let go of. It's like continuing to down a fifth of whiskey and wondering why you have such a killer headache! You can't conquer your demons if you aren't willing to acknowledge them. Plain and simple. Face the demon. Free yourself from it's grasp. It really is that easy.
So, if it's that easy, why do we continue to do it? Because it's much easier to be angry than to face conflict. There are those who are so afraid of conflict that they will do just about anything to avoid it. Sounds crazy, huh?
The best thing you can do for yourself, for your health and your entire quality of life is to face your fears no matter what they are. One moment of discomfort is worth a thousand moments of bliss. Once you release whatever it is that is bothering you, you will suddenly feel a lightness, a joy that is indescribable. You gotta feel it to really appreciate it but, it is oh so sweet!
And the best way to avoid this thing in the future is to address problems as they arise. Nip it in the bud. Cut it short. Don't let it fester. No good comes from that.
In the end, you will suffer way less if you let it all out than if you hold it all in. And if you let it out little by little, even better! And remember:
"Comfort is the enemy of achievement"
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