The Big D - Part Deux

So, the surgery was scheduled. I had to wait 3 grueling weeks. That, I think, is the hardest thing for me. The waiting. I am not a good waiter.

The day before the surgery, I opened up my Jesus Calling Devotional book and read these lines:

"Let Me prepare you for the day that awaits you and point you in the right direction.

I am with you continually. So, don't be intimidated by fear.

Though it stalks you, it cannot harm you, as long as you cling to My hand."

I just sat there, silently in awe and precious reverence, and had this sense of peace envelope my entire body. Wow. God had placed that very devotion in that very book, just for me. I suddenly felt less scared and anxious about the day ahead. I knew in my heart that "God's got this!"

That evening, I took a soak in our hot tub (knowing it would be my last for a few weeks, atleast til my stitches came out.) I sat there with my arms outstretched, with the rain softly falling on my face, looking up at the evening sky. There were all sorts of puffy, white clouds and dark patches, with a few light spots here and there. A beautiful sky for sure. I was in a peaceful state of mind, relaxed and ready. I was looking for a sign in the sky from God. Something to assure me that "He really did have this!"

As I stared into the heavens, the clouds began to form images. The first was what looked like a lion's face. It was beautiful, and the most distinct characteristic was his piercing eyes, staring down at me. He seemed to be telling me to have courage. The next image I saw was that of an angel...I could barely make out her huge wings and a small head, it looked like she was hovering over me and letting me know that I was in good hands. The last and final image I saw, was that of a sheep. It started out very small and then, morphed into a much bigger image of a sheep's head. It had soft fluffy fur around it's face and little soft ears and big eyes...Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't help but think of Psalm 23:1,4:

 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,

For you are with me: your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

 

I was truly humbled and amazed and once again, I felt such comfort from above. I felt like I had absolutely nothing to fear. God HAD this ... unquestionably, 100%, and without a doubt. He had shown me an abundance of proof.  I slept soundly that night.

 

The next day, the surgery went ultra smooth. I was totally relaxed (with a little help from Ativan!) and just felt God's presence in that exam room the entire time. They stitched me up, bandaged me and sent me on my way. And, now, all that's left to do is to pray and to wait...the rest is up to God!