98%

Maintaining a friendship is not brain surgery, folks. It really is not that hard to maintain a good friendship, even across the miles or over the years. But, what you need to know is that 98% (maybe even more) of a friendship is showing up. Atleast in my book.

I have only a few events in my life that are important to me. The first one is my birthday! I am crazy for birthdays. I love to celebrate the fact that I made it another year. And I don't have any problems telling complete strangers on the street or at Starbucks that IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!! I know, I'm a little over-the-top when it comes to my birthday. But, hey, having another birthday is way better than NOT having another birthday, right? Turning a year older is something to boast about and shout from the rooftops!! "Hey, look at me, I am 47 today! Don't I look good for an old broad?!" hee hee. You get the idea.

(I have had some FANTASTICALLY FUN birthdays. Topping the list was my 42nd birthday... where I invited 42 of my closest friends to see a live performance of "The Full Monty" at our local theater here in town. OMG! What a hoot! It was so much fun but, a bit of a buzz kill, when we went out to the lobby at intermission and were told we could not be served anymore alcohol and that we had to "take it down a notch" because other audience members were complaining that we were too loud!! Are you kidding me? I mean, this was the Full Monty for heaven's sakes! What did they expect? For us to sit quietly in our seats, with our hands folded and just nod our heads in enthusiasm?? Well, clearly, this group of gals could not and would not do that. We went back in for the second half and hooted and hollered all we liked. I mean, if they wanted to kick us out, they would have to drag 42 of us out, kicking and screaming.)

The second event that is important to me is the Annual MS Walk. My close friends know that this day is special to me and they do their best to make it out - regardless of the weather - to support me and all the others who live with this disease. Sometimes, the group is large. Other times, the group is small. But, there are a few friends I can count on to ALWAYS be there.

Recently, I had another exciting event in my life. I was chosen to speak before a local audience about my MS. It is a wonderful, international event called "Ignite". The premise is that each person gets 20 power point slides, 15 second per slide, 5 minutes total to tell a story. My topic was "Am I A Mess? Turning life's little bumps into stepping stones." I was super excited! But, also nervous. I have spoken a few other times but, never to an audience of this size or on a stage of this magnitude! I had one person I knew had to be there. My best friend from college. She lives in Seattle and I knew it would be difficult for her to take off mid-week, drive 5 hours one way just to hear me speak for 5 minutes!! I would have totally understood if she couldn't make it. She is one of the busiest people I know.

Guess what? She made it! I cannot tell you how much that meant to me. Not only did she make it. She got to my house early to make sure I had everything I needed. She drove with me to the event to make sure I got settled in. She gave me the best pep talk ever and said things like "You are gonna rock this, Margie" and "Most people are scared to death to get up on stage and speak in front of an audience but, you are a Rock Star, and you've GOT this!" She sat in the front row so, I could have a friendly face to fixate on. She had a cocktail ready for me when I was done. She celebrated with me at the after party until the wee hours of the night and then paid for a cab to get us home safely.

Heck, I was just happy that she showed up. All the other things she did were BONUS, baby.

My point is this, 98% of friendship is just showing up. It's that easy. People want to know that what they do matters. They want to know that they are not fighting life's battles all on their own. They want to know that when it comes down to it, true friends will drop everything and come running to their side. They want to know that the day they were born is a day that other people enjoy celebrating too. I have had plenty of so-called friends in my life that just didn't get that. And, now that I am in my late forties, I have realized that I don't have the time or the need for friends like that. Love me or leave me. But, don't meet me halfway. You are either IN or you're OUT. I don't have time for false friendships and I don't want to hear excuses why you can't be there for me.

I don't ask a lot of my friends, but what I do ask is this:

"Be there for me for the things that are important to me. You know what those things are. If you can't be there for my birthday, then atleast acknowledge it by sending a card or a text, to let me know you are thinking of me. No phone calls, because my true friends know I hate talking on the phone! And please no facebook message, because birthday messages on facebook are for people who didn't really know it was your birthday, but happened to be on facebook and see it that is was so, felt obliged to send a message! Be genuine. Be real. Do your best to show up for the events that are important to me. I promise I will do the same for you."

Easy, right?