When I go to church, sometimes, I am more attentive than others. Sometimes, I really concentrate on the message and other times, it's all I can do to try and stay focused long enough to get through mass. Tonight's sermon at church was awesome; it was all about the Gospel of John (Chapter 15, Verse 1-11) where Jesus talks about The Vine and the Branches. This part hit me in particular:
"I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."
It got me thinking, "How many times in my life has God "pruned" me, whether it be through a sickness or some other life challenge to become even more fruitful?" I can think of a few times for sure.
Being diagnosed with MS was definitely one of those times. I always say that having MS has been more of a blessing in my life, than anything else. My diagnosis happened during a time of my life when I was not being particularly faithful to God - or much else in my life. I had grown complacent. I didn't have a purpose.
God has a way of getting our attention and in my case, the message was LOUD and CLEAR! I have never felt like he gave me MS to punish me...but, rather as a wake-up call. He was saying, "I have given you so much and you're not even using it. Maybe I need to take something away for you to blossom."
Well, in the end, MS really has given me more that it has taken away from me. I don't know if I would have had a second child if it had not been for this disease. And, I can almost guarantee that I would not be running today if it had not been for MS. Losing the use of your legs, arms, whatever it is, even temporarily, has a way of spurring you into action!! My motto now is "Use it or Lose it!" I don't want to ever look back on my life and say, "I wish I had run when I had the chance." Everyday that I wake up and am able to get out of bed and run is a gift and I'll be damned if I'm going to turn that gift away. I know some people think I've gone a little overboard on this whole running craze but, honestly, I just look at it as a second chance, a chance to give back and a chance to stay strong.
More than anything, MS has given my life purpose. I feel like having MS has given me a new perspective on life and has enabled me to offer support to others. Just like the words in the song that we sang tonight at church, "Where there is despair, let me bring hope." If I can bring hope to even one person, then my life here on earth has not been wasted. Amen.
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